


when the clock strikes three

by Lil_Redhead



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: 5x15, Angst, CSSB, Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 03:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12472440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lil_Redhead/pseuds/Lil_Redhead
Summary: Killian always holds her when they sleep, which is why Emma’s so confused when he won’t the night she gets him back. (Canon Divergence 5x15).





	when the clock strikes three

It wasn’t the fact that he wouldn’t kiss her, though that was a pretty good indicator. Emma knew Killian well enough to know something was up the night after she rescued him from Hades’ torture. The message was silently spoken, and it came in the thick strip of coolness of the sheets that separated them. She waited and waited for the moment where he would realize his error, and roll over so he could hold her. 

But he didn’t, and that’s how she knew.  

The thing was, one way or another, they  _ always  _ gravitated back together. Sometimes it was tangled limbs and his slow breaths blowing against the hairs of her neck, and sometimes it was a simple arm slung over her waist. The fact remained, he always held her when they slept. No exceptions. 

She had to admit, the separation kind of sucked. She’d gotten used to sharing blankets with him that were just a hint warmer than what was comfortable just so they could lay near each other, and the gentle snores whispered between his lips. She couldn’t count the number of times she’d woken up with her feet either sticking out from under the comforter or freezing her ass off because Killian had pillaged the blankets in his sleep. But it was all proof that they’d settled into a comfortable intimacy, the reliable kind that only made their relationship stronger. Besides, she could always tuck her cold feet under his overheating legs, and together, they could find a cozy middle ground. 

Falling asleep with a tangible distance between them wasn’t easy, but she gave him his space. Eventually the exhaustion did take over, though, with a potency she was powerless to fight against. 

She remembered was calling out to him. Killian had brushed his gentle fingers across her forehead, insisting that he’d be beside her, that he was alright now, and that she could sleep peacefully. In fact, he mentioned, he would probably be able to get some sleep too. The last thing she remembered was wondering if the dead really slept, but moments later, she was asleep.

When the morning came, Emma cracked her eyes open, fuzzy vision focusing on the ocean view from outside the window. That haunting rose tinted sun still hid beneath the restless underworld shoreline, not yet risen over the ghostly town. 

And she was positively freezing. 

Even covered in blankets, with the window cracked the way Killian liked, the cool breeze had won the battle over her body heat. Reaching a hand across the bed, she sought Killian’s warmth and found nothing but sheets as cool as the air settled around them. Squinting through the darkness, she saw that he was still there, but just out of reach. Not only that, but he was awake too, staring at the ceiling with tired, glazed eyes. 

“You okay?” she asked with a voice hoarse from sleep. He blinked, turning his head to her, before forcing the smallest, tightest smile she’d ever seen. 

“Aye, love, go back to sleep.” 

_ Lie,  _ her superpower informed her, but it was three in the morning, and they both had barely managed to survive the extremely trying day. Whatever conversation was stewing inside of him was not begging to be had. In fact, it was probably hiding away, pleading Emma to just allow the silence for just this once. So she did, but she wasn’t going to let him lay awake upset either, so she scooched across the bed and cuddled up beside him. He tensed, but gave no arguments. 

When he thought she was asleep - she wasn’t, not with her lover thinking so loudly - he untangled himself from her embrace. Even as he situated her so that a wide distance separated them, his touch was still reverent, if not a bit mournful. 

And that’s how she knew. It sucked and it hurt, and Emma wasn’t even entirely sure what had happened that made him so eager to get away from her. 

It ached even more when she found out why. 

He looked her dead in the eye, crimson shaded light highlighting his features, and admitted that he wasn’t planning on returning to Storybrooke with her. It was like losing him all over again, but somewhat different this time. The same familiar ache, and the biting sting of betrayal.   
  


* * *

 

Liam appeared the same way Neal had. The dream itself was disorienting, feeling so much like reality that for a few solid moments, Emma had wondered if she’d been swept up in another curse. She felt nothing but a miniscule ache in the corner of her mind and the slight pull of her equilibrium trying to win back its balance. The air smelt of sea salt that lingered off of a breeze to greet her, and she realized she was standing at the Storybrooke docks. 

She was not alone, either. At first, she mistook him for Killian. It was something about the way he stood at the ends of the dock, strong back and a wistful desire to set sail. But unlike Killian, Captain Liam Jones did not seem to be carrying the weight of his sins on his shoulders. He must have felt her stare boring into his back, because he glanced over his shoulder and smirked. 

“I’ll refrain from telling my brother that I caught you staring at the better looking Captain Jones,” he teased. 

Emma didn’t smile back. Her lips didn’t even twitch. 

“Killian told me you had moved on,” she said slowly, crossing her arms over her chest. If he had lied to his brother  _ again,  _ so help her.

“Aye, that I did,” he responded simply.

“Then what are you doing here?” 

“I thought you and I could have a chat.”

Liam sauntered over to a nearby bench, sat down, then patted the empty space beside him. With obvious reluctance, Emma settled beside him. He tilted his head to look at her, giving a smile that was genuinely welcoming, almost as if he was happy to see her. Then his eyes settled on the rosy horizon, and he inhaled the briny smell of a dreamy sea. 

“I owe you an apology,” he said finally. “Being at peace has given me some time to think about some things.” He folded his hands in his lap and leaned forward, allowing his gaze to settle on the sea. “You’re quite the woman, Emma.” 

“I take it you finally approve of me for your brother?” Emma asked, only half sarcastically. 

“I do,” Liam replied seriously. “But I hardly think it matters anymore. Killian is crazy about you, and I doubt there’s anything anyone can do to change that.” 

“What changed your mind?” 

“Aside from how absolutely devastated my brother was at the thought of leaving you behind? I realized that you’re one of the few people that genuinely has his best interests at heart.” 

Most of Emma was genuinely relieved, really, but a tiny fraction of her really just wanted to roll her eyes into the back of her head. From the beginning, that had been the one thing that was absolutely certain. She didn’t make a deal with the dark one, travel down the underworld, and put her own life on the line just so that she could bring her pirate toy home with her. Killian was so much more than that. He was a strong, compassionate man who’d fought to change the path of his life and put the needs of others before his. He’d died a hero, and to have his sacrifice count for nothing…

She’d come down here to save Killian, for Killian. She’d put her life on the line for the off chance that he could have a future. The fact that Liam ever thought otherwise showed just how wrong he was. The revelation shouldn’t have been shocking for him, because she was always upfront with her intentions. It was he who lied. 

“I probably should have seen it sooner,” Liam admitted when she said nothing. He turned to her, encouraging her to look at him. “I can’t tell you the reason I broke the rules to come give you this message, because quite frankly, I don’t know myself. Perhaps I just wanted to let you know that I was wrong to judge you, and that I’m thankful he’s found someone like you.” 

The honesty in his eyes was unsettling because it was almost the exact expression that would wash over Killian’s face. 

“I appreciate it,” she replied. “I guess I should thank you as well for proving that you’re the honorable man Killian remembers. I’ll admit, in the beginning, I had my doubts.” 

“One day, hopefully in the distant future for your sake, we’ll meet again and you and I will become better acquainted. Until then, I’ll be keeping an eye on you both, wishing you the best.” 

“He’ll be happy to hear it.” 

Emma felt Liam’s presence beside her begin to fade, like the light of the sun as it dipped under the horizon. Traces of it were still there, residual after effects of his visit, but the most pressing aura of his presence was gone. 

The last thing she heard before it disappeared completely was,  “Thank you, Emma Swan.” 

When she looked up, Liam was gone. 

 

* * *

 

Emma woke to the feeling of Killian’s fingers brushing across her forehead and down her cheeks. When her eyelids fluttered open, she saw his tender gaze on her laced with a trace of regret. She recognized her surroundings as her - and sometimes  _ their  _ \- bedroom, though Killian hadn’t joined her in bed. He simply sat on the edge of the mattress, lost in thought as he caressed his love’s soft skin. 

“Hey,” she said softly. His warm smile widened as he realized she was awake. 

“Go back to sleep. You’ve been resting for less than an hour.” His hand never stopped touching her. He was there sending tingles through her cheeks and chills down her spine when his nails scratched the sensitive skin on her scalp. She careened into the reverent touch, a flash of memories reminding her of a not-so-distant past where this was impossible, and he was gone. 

“I saw Liam,” she confessed, his attentions pulling the words right out of her. “In my dream. He wanted to apologize, and tell me what he’d always be with us.” 

Killian’s eyes fluttered, forcing back the tears that had pooled at his lashes. As the news settled in, Emma lifted a hand to entwine their fingers together. 

“I’m sorry you couldn’t have more time with him,” she said. 

“One day, I suspect that the days without him will seem like a distant, unpleasant past.” 

War raged behind his eyes, and Emma could guess how he was feeling. She’d been there before, laying on their couch as tears dripped down her cheeks. The ache of losing Killian had been agony, one that kept her  grounded and unable to do anything but lay down and cry. And she wished, she hoped, she prayed that he was in a better place. At least Killian had the guarantee that Liam was happy somewhere, but it didn’t replace the pain of losing his brother all over again.

“Penny for your thoughts?” she asked, and Killian sighed. 

“I’m tired of thinking.”

“Then why don’t you come to bed?” It was an invitation, a calm request that he could accept or decline. With a press of his lips against the back of her hand, he accepted. Emma watched as Killian circled around the bed, where he found the empty left side. She immediately warmed at the closeness of him, the way she could feel his aura beside her thawing away her insecurities. 

But he didn’t hold her. He stayed stranded on his side of the bed, hand clenched at his side with eyes glued to the ceiling. 

It was different than last night, Emma thought. Tonight he wasn’t dancing alongside the edge of the bed, only breaths away from falling off. Instead he was only a few inches away, completely within grasp. Through her heavy lashes, she could see how Killian bit the inside of his cheek, his breath coming out quiet and shallow. 

“Can I ask you something?” she asked into the chilly nighttime air. 

“Anything, love.” 

“You always hold me when we sleep. Why not now?” 

Killian’s head snapped over at her. His eyes widened in surprise, though more at the fact that she’d figured him out than actual surprise. With a sigh of resignation, he propped himself up on an elbow, and peered down at her. 

“Last night I knew that I would have to tell you that I wasn’t coming home with you. It felt wrong to want to enjoy your presence with something like that looming over us.” Emma felt her heart surge at the memory of him changing his mind, choosing her instead of his guilt.

“And now?” 

“I’ve taken steps to forgiving myself, but I did not want to assume that you had forgiven me as well.” 

Emma gawked. That was the stupidest thing she ever heard. The whole reason she came down here was to save him, to live a life where he could hold her when they were happily sleeping beside one another, and still together when they weren’t. She wanted that future, and she wanted it just as badly as he did. The last thing she wanted was his remanent self doubt to creep in between them and cause a drift. 

“You’re the best man I know,” Emma said seriously. “We both made mistakes, but I’ve forgiven you just like you’ve forgiven me.” 

That was all he needed to hear. As soon as the words left her mouth, he was seering shut the distance between them, hoisting her into his arms. His lips fell on hers with the same loving desperation as earlier when he’d told her he wanted to be saved, that he wanted his future. He kissed her like a man unleashed, hungry for everything she would allow him. Emma tugged him so that he moved to hover over her, her fingers itching to feel his soft skin and comb through the hair of his chest. 

No other place in the world did she feel this safe, this cherished, as in his arms. He laid flush up against her, every hard jagged line of him moulding into each of her soft curves. The taste of him was made even more delicious as she felt his muscles pull taut as his ran his hand and stump over the sides of her hips and towards her breasts. She knew what she needed and all she had to do was ask for it.

“Make love to me.” 

Killian let out a whimpered moan, tasting her hot breath as she sighed out her request. He granted her wish, throwing himself to into a push and pull of worship. Every ounce of pleasure he granted her, she returned back to him, sweet and heavy. 

They fell into their familiar dance, one they knew well. For what seemed like hours, Killian did whatever he could to convince his love that never planned on leaving again. Emma heard him, and with reverent kisses told him that she would never let him go. 

It was three in the morning by the time their skin had cooled off. 

Killian went back to sleeping the way he always had before his death, arms wrapped tightly around her. With her head pressed up against his bare chest, Emma inhaled the spicy scent of him and let it carry her to sleep. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
